I’m #spoiled … and so are all of you. #entitlement #democracy
No, ladies, it’s not that kind of vibrator.
A couple of weeks ago, my razor “broke.” It has some sort of engine in it that causes it to vibrate while I shave. The engine no longer causes the razor to vibrate. I immediately said, “Dammit! Now I have to buy a new one.” Then I thought about it for a second. I’m an old fart, so I remember the old days when new features were added to razors. The Gillette Atra introduced the pivoting head. The Schick … I don’t know; let’s just say the “Penis 300″ squirted moisturizing goo on your face so that you’d have less irritation from shaving. Then there was the Acme Triple Thing (memory issues; old fart, remember?) that introduced three blades instead of two and started the “more blades” war. I’m guessing no razor had all of these things because these features were patented. Today, however, those patents have expired, so razors can have all of these things. My razor not only has five blades and a pivoting head, but it vibrates, which I’ve been brainwashed to believe makes my face feel better after shaving. (I’m convinced is psychological.)
So think about what this means. Even without the vibration, this is the best razor I’ve ever had. Yet because something is “broken,” I’m complaining that it’s not good enough simply because I’ve been to the promised land (shaving-wise) and can’t accept ever going back, not even partway.
I’m spoiled … and so are all of you. Admit it. There’s nothing wrong with progress, but maybe we should learn to be happy with what we already have and see the new stuff as bonus points, not necessities. Unfortunately, this quirk has a darker side.
Whether on this blog, another blog, or in personal conversations, I always ridicule my fellow Americans as thinking they’re “entitled.” “Entitled to what?” you might ask. Everything. Whatever they want, they think they’re entitled to it. With social and political issues, these supposed champions of democracy show little respect for the interests (and votes) of others by pretending that the Constitution demands what they want so that they don’t have to be bothered by that annoying voting process that should be deciding most of our issues. They also ignore what’s plainly in there despite the fact that a supermajority had to go to a great deal of trouble to insert it into the document though … you guessed it: A democratic process. This lack of respect for democracy and others’ opinions stems from our lack of concern for the “because” of an issue, which itself is caused by wanting what we want so badly that we feel we’re entitled to it because we’re somehow more important than anyone else. Try to listen to each other. Maybe you’ll learn something and your views will evolve.
I bought a new razor anyway. I’m a dope.
Follow me on Twitter @RobertEBodine
#Law School and #Friendship
I met with a law school buddy yesterday. She’s taking over a case for me, bailing me out in the process. We talked about the old times (1996-1999 in Chicago) and how for me law school was the “college experience” I never had as an undergraduate. It was the only time in my life where I really drank alcohol and partied hard, but I loved the law school experience, even when I was stone cold sober. Overall, the practice of law has been a disappointment for me, but I can remedy that if I can get myself a teaching position. In any case, I miss Chicago, and I miss my friends. I hope Amy isn’t the only one I get to see again. People like Amy made law school the best years of my life. This is not an overstatement. I was never happier, and for someone who has suffered from depression, that’s a profound statement. I owe her for more than just taking this case off my hands.
By the way, if you need a criminal defense attorney in Virginia, let me know. I’ll point you to Amy. She’s awesome.
Follow me @RobertEBodine
#Humans Are a Contagious #Disease?
Of course, some really do see things this way.
Follow me on Twitter @RobertEBodine unless you can’t take a joke.
My Two Worlds Collide: #Politics and #Geekdom
If you don’t want to read my long-winded article, the Politics of Lying, then just take a look at this photo and caption.
It doesn’t have to be this way, but it is, and that’s your fault.
Of course, those that have actually read that article understand that I don’t see things quite this way. If you’re a typical American, then your need for drama causes you to treat your guy as a hero and the other guy as a villain. Neither is true, but as long as you treat politics that way, you’ll be rewarding them for lying and punishing them for telling the truth. They wouldn’t act like Jar-Jar Binks if you didn’t demand it of them.
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Another Example of Political Hypocrisy: Cheap Shots at Dead People
Leave My Celebrity-of-Choice Alone! Oh, and to hell with yours.
De mortuis nil nisi bonum dicendum est
– “Of the dead nothing but good is to be said.”
On this day in 2009, Ted Kennedy died of a malignant brain tumor. There were some from the political right in this country saying, “Good riddance, dirtbag.” The left was up in arms saying “Leave Teddy alone!” They said it was a horrible thing to mock the dead just because you disagreed with them politically, and they made sweeping generalizations about the “other side” and its propensity to do such things. At a time like that, the correct thing to do is focus on the good they did or respectfully keep your mouth shut. The problem is, about one week earlier, Robert Novak, a conservative journalist, died. Do you remember how that news was received? Some on the political left said, “Good riddance, dirtbag” and the right was up in arms saying, “Leave Robby alone!”
Despite occurring over the span of only about one week, everyone seemed oblivious to the shift in moral stance of the right and left in this country. Few seemed to pick up on the inconsistency, or at least didn’t care. I guess it was too much to expect for people to notice when, years later, the right and left again shifted positions over the death of Andrew Breitbart (and Tony Snow). The left went crazy, and the right indignantly objected (sometimes trying to rationalize the inconsistency). Of course, as cited above, Breitbart was one of the hypocrites, so it’s hard to feel sorry for him, or any of these guys who’ve made a living doing this to each other. (This was, by the way, the only time I remember this inconsistency being largely acknowledged by the political talking heads.) However, it doesn’t lessen the inconsistency for the social media universe, which was inundated with similar sentiments from the everyday citizen.
It’s important to note that the majority of people didn’t make inappropriate statements immediately upon the passing of these figures. Most people – even the talking heads – won’t speak ill of the dead so close to that death. My concern, however, is for the sweeping generalizations made against an entire political wing because some did, as if that justifies the inference that the “other side” has some sort of monopoly on indecency. We all do it, and we can’t fix it until we recognize it in ourselves.
Maybe you think it’s okay to speak ill of the dead within hours of that death. That’s your prerogative, but if so, don’t inconsistently criticize others for doing the same to your guy when he dies. In politics, inconsistency is another word for hypocrisy. Sadly, it’s the norm. In any case, if you fall into either the camp that thinks it’s okay to be so disrespectful so close to the death of another, or the camp of hypocrites that says that’s okay only when talking about the “other guys,” ask yourself this question:
Is your camp good for society?
Note: Much of my commentary is directed at threads and tweets that are three years old. It would be unduly burdensome to research them; hence, no citations (or apologies) are given. While my commentary is based largely on memory, I’m guessing most of you remember the same thing.
Follow me on Twitter @RobertEBodine
Shut up!
Word is spreading through the internet about the Sony patent for interactive advertising. Figure 9 of the application involves a person being prompted to shout “McDonalds!” in order to end the television commercial and get back to his violent TV programming. The picture in question is here:
“Imagine how awkward ads for herpes medication could be. And by awkward I mean awesome.”
– @KesselJunkie, August 24, 2012
I haven’t read the patent, so maybe this is explained, but I’m unsure why the guy in the picture has to stand up and throw his hands in the air. Maybe there are motion detectors involved, but if so, it’s probably just to play a joke on the public, making them look like idiots while they yell at their TVs. If I were using this technology, I’d be scanning it for hidden micro-cameras designed to record me acting like a fool for your YouTube viewing pleasure.
This gave me an idea, though. Whenever someone is rambling, instead of politely excusing yourself or trying to get them to change the subject, just stand up, throw your hands in the air, and shout, “McDonalds!” Feel free to use the same technique in movie theaters while they’re playing the commercials and trailers for bad movies.
After you’re done, tweet that you did it, and cite me as your inspiration. Please. I need this.
Based on the lengths of my posts, I’m sure this will be used against me soon.
Follow me on Twitter @RobertEBodine
Follow Sony on Twitter @Sony
Follow Kessel Junkie on Twitter @kesseljunkie
Write to the Point by Wordrake
I don’t think either Obama or Romney is your brother, but I’m certain they’re not brothers.
I stumbled across a website recently called Write to the Point by Wordrake. It’s target market consists of attorneys, selling them Wordrake software that corrects common writing errors.
What interest me is their daily tip to improving your writing. For any that have read my article, Language Matters, you know I find this important. One of the three justifications for not caring about language errors is that the point of language is to communicate, so as long as the message is communicated, there’s no problem. As their tip on the serial comma (a.k.a., Oxford comma) demonstrates, though, language errors, especially in writing, tend to hinder communication, and all of you that have ever posted to the internet know this to be true. On the internet, misunderstanding is the rule, not the exception. Even when speaking, a misplaced modifier — especially “not” — in a 2-second statement often receives requests from the listener for a 1-minute clarification. How this doesn’t convince you to correct your writing is beyond me. It’s in your own selfish interest to do so.
Do yourself a favor: Sign up for their daily tips. How could it possible hurt? Besides, if you learn enough from the tips, perhaps you won’t need the software.
Follow me on Twitter @RobertEBodine
